Setbacks, pep talks and the weather

Have you ever tried really hard (like for days or weeks) to do something great and then it doesn't turn out that great. You yell at your partner,the sky, the floor, they don't care. You can try with your whole being, but there is no guarantee that greatness awaits on the other side. No guarantee at all. But your being is great and it's greatness needs to ooze into the world. The world needs it dammit! This phenonmenon is like the weather. You can plan, you can intend, you can check weather dot come fifty bazillion fucking times, but that shit can change in a second and a pro just rolls with it.

black cat

There's this feral, black cat that has made it's home in our crumbling garage. I think the cat has mange, judging from the large hairless chunks that have been removed from it's side. It has these green, cold, dead eyes and it sleeps on a once exhibited, sagging sculpture that entropy is slowly (maybe too slowly) enveloping. Our non feral cats won't chase it away and seem semi-content with their new roommate. Big Sir is not content with this new roommate and has suggested shooting it with a BB gun, much to my horror and dismay. Where he sees a sly, unwelcome intruder, I see a small, scared creature that has never known love in this world. Or if it has, it was long ago and probably ended brutally. Even our meaner cat knows that she is cared for and I believe, is somewhat less mean for it. When I see Blackie curled up on the sculpture it makes me feel good that we have unwittingly created a home for a living thing with a (probably) unpleasant life. I guess Big Sir and I are experiencing a natural gender difference. Protector vs. Nurturer. It may sound silly, but seeing this cat every day or every other day, has made me reflect on how fortunate I am to experience love in this world. I actually teared up, in gratitude, thinking about this the other day. Of course, this hasn't inspired me to trap the cat, take it to the vet, and have the mange treated. Reflection is less complicated than action.

Here I go, bitches.

I told someone else's story and the universe said, "oh no you don't".

The best part of it was this.

"I checked the same pay phone return slot every day for months and it was always empty".

That may not be good enough for you, if that's the case then I am sorry, on behalf of the universe. We can only tell our own stories, although sometimes it's easier to tell other peoples. I have always thought I wanted to write. I have met a lot of people who had strange, sad experiences. They were the type of people who had no voice of their own, so in the back of my mind, I thought I could be that voice, for them. Maybe it was my destiny. Or maybe I'm a condescending, meddling pain in the ass. In any case, I never did anything about it. Instead, I've been waiting for life to happen to me. It happened. One way or another, it always does.