So the job search continues and each day brings a new lesson in humility. I have lowered myself to checking Craiglist. And yes, it is lowering oneself. For one, most jobs expect everything and give nothing back.
Example:
Can you design websites, answer a forty line phone, work overtime, travel, redesign our office, and speak Spanish and Chinese? Don’t bother applying if you can’t work weekends and baby sit the boss’s children while doing all of the above.
Compensation: 8-10.00 and hour
The other discouraging aspect is that you have to reevaluate your life daily. What didn’t fly yesterday may be a fucking okay today. Are you hungry and disappointed enough to be a sign spinner? Would it be awesome or awful if you had to wear a costume with a headpiece while spinning said sign? At least your friends wouldn’t know it’s you, but on the other hand the headpiece might carry that staph infection that started on skid row and county jail. Oh, what to do.
Not that any of it matters anyway. It’s not like after the many, many emailed resumes and cover letters I’ve sent, anyone has responded. Oh, I take that back. I did get one interview, at a collection agency. They worked on commission. So, however many people you could properly scare into paying you, you got a part of it. Not blood money exactly, more like corn syrup and food coloring money. Anyway, I passed, which I kind of regret sometimes, in my potential sign spinner employment moments.
The other job site I have been checking is Careerbuilder. All I have to say is, “Careerbuilder, you are no Monster”. In order to sign up, it’s like a half day temp job, with no pay, natch. After this lengthy beginning, the offers start flowing. Offers like:
Work at home 500 dollars a day, totally legit, just a one time sign up fee. This company is totally legit. We are a housewares company based in England that needs American data entry workers to help us collect payment. Totally easy and totally legit. Did we mention we’re legit? We totes are!!!!!
How does it even work that entering data helps collect debts? The whole pitch reminds me of a trannie hooker with a full beard trying to talk an army guy into getting a blow job. “I’m totally a woman, I swear! This beard is old food stuck to my face. I swear!”
Anyway, I’ll keep plugging away. The only other strategy I can think of is driving around looking for help wanted signs in windows of businesses. Maybe this can be my soundtrack. http://www.sadtrombone.com/ Wish me luck!!
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