Stories from the days of yore.

My brother (let's call him Gypsy Prince) came to town recently and brought with him one of our mom's college textbooks on Modern Literature. It was probably the 1950's equivalent of the comp 101 paperback that was called Contemporary Literature when I was in college, only instead of Joyce Carol Oates , it has T.S. Eliot and he's listed as being a living writer. My mom is pretty old, I know! She is so old that she remembers Civil War veterans marching in Veteran Day parades when she was a small child. She did say that the soldiers were pretty old. Still, I'm not that old, she had me when she was old. Okay, I'm seriously digressing and using the word old so much, it doesn't look like a word anymore.

One great thing about this book is not only is it full of what we now call Classic Literature, it's also huge, thick, and the cover is that shade of forest green that only books printed before 1960, come in. One other great thing about this book is that this is one book that inspired my mothers love of literature, a love that she passed down to me and Gypsy Prince, that has shaped us in profound ways. It has her notes and doodles in the margins. Among the great stories in the book, there is one by William Saroyan titled,"The Pomegranate Trees" that I had never read before last night. They had a short bio that included this quote by the author (also listed as still alive).

"You must believe that as much as death is inevitable life is inevitable. That is, the earth is inevitable, and people and other living things on it are inevitable, but that no man can remain on this earth for very long. You do not have to be melodramatically tragic about it. It is really one of the basically humorous things, and has all sorts of possibilities for laughter... Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."

Someone who was close to me is now buried near William Saroyan. When I saw Saroyan's grave (which was marked by a hugantic obelisk, it lifted my spirits on what was otherwise a very sad day. I just love that quote because laughter is such a powerful reflection of the force of life that the two juxtapose quite nicely. It's just such a thoughtful thing to say and stated in such an inspiring and heartfelt way.

golden hour

My favorite time of day is the golden hour. Technically, the golden hour is two hours a day, so it should be golden hours, but this sounds less poetic. The golden hour happens the hour when the sun rises, and the hour it sets, for those who may not know. The light is magical, warm, soft. The deepest of blues. It's when the world slips into the magical, mystical moment of change. It's the time of day where the sky and earth begin and begin and begin to meet, until they finally do. It reminds me that all is temporary, that all good things come to an end, as do all bad. Here's a maudlin quote from a German writer Jean Paul Richter, "The darkness of death is like evening twilight. It makes all objects appear more lovely to the dying". Or if you prefer something lighter, there is always Oliver Wendall Holmes, "Love prefers twilight to daylight". I think I'll stick with the Doors," You know the day destroys the night, night divides the day, tried to run, tried to hide, break on through to the other side". Anyway, I've been going out for an hour or so after dinner and shooting the twilight with my new camera that I love very much and know how to use, not very much. But that's cool because the point of this experience is not to make good pictures as much as it is about understanding and observing this moment that I love. This moment that feels rare and important, but actually occurs twice a fucking day!

the boredom, the freedom, and the time spent alone.

So, recently my accomplishments were celebrated and this was a strange albeit pleasant occurance for me. I spend most of my time alone. I like this about my life, although I don't consider myself a misanthrope. I'm actually pretty social and I like talking to people, asking questions, sharing andecdotes and whatnot. But, to be the center of attention for hours and hours was tiring and simultaneously a really a fun experience. It suprised me to find so much pleasure in it because even though I enjoy people, I always felt like I could be one of the last people on earth and be okay with that. I have always enjoyed fiction about the last people at the end of the world (The Stand, The Quiet Earth, Where Have All the People Gone, After the Plague, god there are a lot more I'm getting tired of naming them). But tonite I watched that 28 Weeks Later and I don't think I can romanticize the apocalypse anymore. Sidenote: apocalypse means lifting the veil in Greek. I really enjoyed the first film, and I guess I liked this one (like is a weird word for such a hopeless, sad, violent film) but I also kind of felt emotionally abused by it. Like a little piece of my soul died while watching it. And I guess that's a good thing for a film, or any piece of art to make you feel, or is it? I mean it's something, for sure, but is more of bad. good? Anyhoo, I have rejoined the land of the talkers and the cocktail partyiers and the barbecuers for at least the temporary. And I feel pretty good about that. I love the people. I recently reread Revelations (for artistic research) and I think I'm going to trade it in for some People magazine for awhile. For the sake of my delicate heart, sometimes I gotta dial it back.

Am I secretly in love with Dave Eggers?

One person I really admire is Dave Eggers. He could have just been some writer living the high life on the upper East Side, with some super skinny, ironic, model girlfriend and coke parties galor. But instead, he's helping the kids, writing books about child soldiers and I'm sure a bunch of other generous shit we don't even know about. It's cool that his essence is in the world in such a major way that he probably doesn't even have enough time in the day to fulfill that shit. When I read his first book, I totally wanted to call bullshit on him and his Miranda July groupies. But, he won me over. And he gave a TED talk where he was nervous, so he doesn't even know that he's totally fucking awesome. Inspiring....

It's not easy to get off that ass.
And make a difference and make it last.